Monday, November 22, 2010

Rambling - Snowy Working Intimidation

Model and photographer unknown
Massive snowflakes, the size of children's eyes, fell in silent rivers as I left work this morning.  There was barely any space between them, and they fell with such consistency that within the time it took me to enjoy a steaming hot breakfast sandwich all the world around me was buried in a thin layer of crystal silver joy.

I truly love the snow.  I love how silent snow is when it lands, I love the sounds of snow when you walk through it, I love that it tends to drive all the humans back into their homes and businesses.  The world feels to me, when snow is falling, as if it is somehow smaller and I am more prominent.  This stokes my ego of course, but more importantly it alleviates my perpetual distaste for this state of being that is called "meat sack," and I instead get to spend at least a few moments enjoying the silence of the snow.  I can forget about the rotting, sloshing, grinding, stretching, pulling, straining activities caused within my prison by even the smallest moves I make.  At least, for a brief while.  I truly love the snow.

There is actually some work coming your way, from my general direction, at a future time which I cannot specify (not for sake of secrecy, but because I honestly do not yet know).  In terms of writing I must admit that the severe lack of any continuation of the works on this blog, or anything new, stem entirely from my own lack of effort.  I could blame writer's block, but I feel that in itself would be lazy.  Although, in a way, is a disinterest in the work and an overabundance of interest in gaming itself a form of writer's block?  Or am I just a lazy ass?  Probably both.  Yes.

Either way, there are some video projects coming down the road as well as fiction.  I do have writing that will be posted here in the near future (in particular a third entry to the Beginnings series), but write now (HA!) I am focusing on writing the details for two different YouTube projects that I really hope to get off the ground.  While I do not want to go into too much detail, I can most certainly generalize. The first project is a simple (and arguably overdone) series of comedic sketch pieces.  Nothing entirely special about that, but I like to think the sketch ideas I have thought up are funny, and hopefully they will work.  The second project is much more involved.  It involves zombies.  Dead ones.  Yes.

While at work this evening, I was informed by a co-worker that I am apparently "smug."  She said this in the friendliest tone possible, and I have no illusions that she was being malicious in her statement.  Rather, I believe that her intent was to inform me of other peoples' general opinions, and in this I am not the least bit surprised.  When I was in high school, few people talked to me because they were sure I was going to snap and, as one classmate put it, "shove those boots right up your ass."  When I was in the Navy, everyone thought I was going to snap and bring a weapon to work, and a member of my squadron even asked one of my closest friends to tell me "when he snaps, remember that I was always nice to him."  Now, at the wretched place of Walmart, apparently everyone believes I am smug and have no time for them.  This, I must admit, is the least inaccurate assessment.  Yet it is not something that I have ever deliberately cultivated.

I dress strangely, I read books (GASP!), and I am comfortable enough with myself to be alone instead of feeling the need to constantly fill my life with other people.  These things, apparently, alienate me from the rest of the herd-species.  I have come to accept this, yet that does not alleviate the annoyance I feel when told that everyone at work thinks I am smug.  I have done literally nothing to anyone at work; I read my book on breaks and at lunch.  I suppose that in itself is enough.